the song
title : W.L.T.M.
written by : Jimmy Nail
song copyright : © 1999 Chrysalis Music Ltd

the performance
musicians
Jimmy Nail joint lead vocal (‘him’), backing vocal, harmonica
Guy Fletcher keyboards
Neil Taylor guitars
Marcus Cliffe bass
Gary Husband drums
Dave McCracken programming
with :
Eddi Reader
(credited as Eddie Reader)
joint lead vocal (‘her’), backing vocal
Roddy Lorimer flugelhorn
? strings and clarinet arranged by Nick Ingham
music
key : D major
time-signature : 4/4
tempo : MM 92
form : i c V V C V V C M C P
lyrics

provided for research and private study only (see above for copyright details):

W.L.T.M.

{him:}
single white professional with a house and two cars
my interests are the cinema, the theatre and bars
I’m considered good-looking by the people who know me
I’m never condescending to those below me
I love all animals but have no pets
I get on well with children… but I don’t want to be a dad, just yet

I’m looking for a lady with similar tastes
an hour-glass figure and a beautiful face
a good sense of humour… must enjoy a joke
must be N.S… all that fag-ash and smoke!
first-time advert, never done this before
I’m looking for friendship, who knows, maybe… something more
maybe something more

and I would love to meet
would love to meet
would love to meet
I would love to meet

{her:}
single white female, mother of two
likes Monet, Shakespeare and ‘A room with a view’
barefoot contessa with bright blue eyes
into broadening her horizons and firming up her thighs
independent Cathy, financially secure
seeks Heathcliffe, based midlands, but will travel to your moor

I’m looking for my knight in shining armour
a city type perhaps? or a gentleman farmer?
I’d prefer a silent viking or a moody romancer
but anything considered… all letters answered
I’d like to meet a tall guy, six feet or above
but what I’m really looking for is someone to love
someone to love

and I would love to meet
would love to meet
would love to meet
would love to meet

{him:}
I wanna call but… I’m afraid to talk
you’re bound to reckon I’m… I’m a complete dork
I take a breath, I dial and then it’s ring ring ring…
oh, what a relief… it’s an answerphone thing

and I would love to meet
would love to meet
would love to meet
would love to meet

{him (reading):} “attractive, slim, intelligent, twenty-seven,
      seeks GSOH, with a 911”
{her (reading):} “straight-talking, beer-drinking northern bloke,
      seeks straight-talking girl for a laugh and a joke”
{him (reading):} “lady, mid-fifties, though you’d never tell,
      seeks energetic gent with a view to gel”
{her (reading):} “Fred seeks his Ginger to tango and rhumba”
{him (reading):} “Ken, phone Annie, I’ve lost your number”

explanations
N.S. non-smoker
Monet Claude Monet (1840-1926), French impressionist painter
‘A room with a view’ presumably the 1908 novel by E. M. Forster or the film made from it by Merchant Ivory Productions
Cathy and Heathcliffe the lovers in Emily Brontë’s novel Wuthering Heights (1847)
GSOH good sense of humour
911 one of the most popular models of sports car made by the German firm Porsche
Fred and Ginger Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers, Hollywood’s most successful dancing partnership in the 1930s
Ken and Annie I am not clear whether these two names are local to this song or whether they refer to a ‘known’ couple (perhaps from a tv soap)

the recording
personnel
produced by : Jon Kelly
recorded by : Jon Jacobs assisted by Lee Phillips at Westside Studios, London
mixed by : Jon Kelly assisted by Jon Jacobs (at Westside Studios, London?)
mastered by : ? at ?
technical
track timing : 5:18
song timing : 5:12
released on
album : Tadpoles in a jar track 7